by Andrew Arnett
Heath Ledger is resting on a cold slab just seven blocks from where I am sitting, awaiting autopsy at the Manhattan coroners office. I walked by there earlier today, unaware of who was inside, just out and about on my evening stroll. There is always a bit of a chill I get when walking by that place, though yesterday it felt more so, and it did put me into a gloomy mood, though I wasn’t sure why at the time. I didn’t know his body had been transferred there until I had put on the evening news. Perhaps it was just a coincidence, but thinking about it now, it seems that when a true star passes away, like James Dean, the Titanic, or the Beatles, it leaves a very definite void in its wake, a black hole if you will, which tends to pull everything around it in and upon itself.
This was a strange case. The pieces just didn’t add up. Why would a talent like Ledger, already huge with his Oscar win, now on the verge of breaking through into immortality with his seminal performance as the Joker in the upcoming Batman movie, do something so stupid and cliché ridden as off himself on what appears to be drugs, prescription or otherwise. And then there is the involvement with those Olsen twins, or one of them at least, I’m not sure which one, most probably the evil twin. And what about the unaccredited masseuse? Now, the reports say that the masseuse called Olsen on the phone before she dialed 911 when she discovered the lifeless body, only to be told by Olsen to not call the cops until her private security guards arrived on the scene first. The first thing that disturbs me is that a girl like Olsen actually has a small army of guards to dispatch at a moments notice, on either coast.
Now there’s a real head scratcher. I couldn’t make heads or tales about it. In a situation like this, there was only one recourse for action, and that was to turn to the net, see what the web had to say about it. Sure, I would have to wade through a lot of red herrings and paranoid fantasies, but at least it would get the ball rolling, see what’s percolating on the world brain. Maybe there were some details missed. Lets face it, the corporate media machine is less than perfect as to the details. Sure thing, they’ve got their hands full with the Britney Lohan issue, they’ve got their top people working on that case, and between that and the campaign, they’re stretched thin.
I Googled Heath Ledger death mystery and came up with 257,012 responses. Something in the top ten listings caught my eye. It was absurd, but it caught my eye because it was just that. The title read Tom Cruise Killed Heath Ledger. This was good for the chuckle at least, and lets face it, we all need a little levity. The basic thesis of the article was that Tom Cruise and his handlers needed some kind of distraction for the media to take their attention off the new biography on Cruise, which is an unflattering account of his bazaar behaviors and beliefs, etc. In addition, the article pointed out, Cruise’s wife, the indelible Mrs. Katie Holmes, was turned down for the lead femme fatale role in the upcoming summer blockbuster The Dark Knight, which stars Ledger as the Joker. Well, it is true that nobody has heard a word about the Cruise book since the Ledger tragedy.
This was turning into a can of worms. The more I looked inside it, the darker and squirmier things got. I was getting dizzy with the facts, the implications, the seemingly unconnected connections. I needed a breather, a chance to clear my head, get some objectivity on the case. I needed spiritual guidance. I had no choice, so I contacted my spiritual guru Sylvia Brown for advice. I just hoped she wasn’t too busy taping another appearance on the Montell Williams Show.
Sylvia and I go back a long ways and she helped me break a number of big stories, as well as helping me get in touch with my inner child. But that is another story. Luckily, I caught Sylvia at home as she was coming out of one of her trances.
“Sylvia,” I asked her “tell me what you know about this Heath Ledger case. Is foul play involved, or just bad judgment?”
“It’s true,” she said “Tom Cruise did kill Heath Ledger.
“But how could that be? There are eye witness accounts that place Tom with members of the Sea Org at a retreat in the Hollywood Hills at the time of Ledgers passing. You must be mistaken on this one Sylvia.”
“Not at all Andrew, you see there was a great battle which took place on the astral plane. These two have been going at it since Ledger put out The Order. That movie was more than just a fictional story, but rather a metaphor for what was going on in Ledgers life. Studying at the Temple of the Golden Dawn with the Crowley people, Ledger actually became the sin eater, as he depicted in the movie. That is equivalent to a Grand Wizard, or a 33rd degree Mason. With that under his belt, and then all the plum roles coming his way, he naturally aroused much envy in Hollywood. You know how bitchy that town can get.”
“And how.”
“Sure thing. Anyway, as I was saying, a great battle ensued on the astral plane. I know this because I’ve been in deep meditation and I remote viewed the entire thing. You see, Tom is what they call an Operating Thetan, which makes him a real big cheese in his circle, and as such he is in command of an army of Thetan underlings. He commanded them all to attack Ledger psychically but was thwarted when Ledger invoked the spirit of Aliester Crowley to repel their attacks. Now Tom, being Tom, wasn’t going to take this lying down so he in turn invoked the spirit of L. Ron Hubbard himself. Now these two disembodied spirits are going at it and let me tell you this was a terrible sight to behold. Storms and tidal waves and earthquakes and you name it.”
“Holy smokes, what happened then?”
“Well, the rest is history. Crowley was smited by Hubbard, and in turn Ledger’s soul sunk to the lowest levels of the emotional scale and is now dead at the age of 28. Real tragedy.”
All I could think of was Mission Impossible 4, and had to agree with her. About the tragedy part, that is.
“That’s quite a story you’re telling me Sylvia. Are you sure about the accuracy of your vision?”
“Hell yes Andrew, have I ever steered you wrong before?”
Well, about that, she was right. That lady has never steered me wrong. But this whole business of sin eating and thetans was just something I couldn’t quite wrap my head around. Besides, all this talk was getting me famished. I needed something to eat so my girlfriend and I decided to head down to Chinatown. While there we picked up some scallops and fresh octopus. On the walk home we passed by Ledgers house on Broome Street in Soho. There was still media in front- cameras, reporters, and the fans and mourners who left flowers and pictures of Heath on the sidewalk beside his place. I snapped a few photographs while a passerby told my girlfriend about the time he almost overdosed on cough syrup.
the end
Heath Ledger is resting on a cold slab just seven blocks from where I am sitting, awaiting autopsy at the Manhattan coroners office. I walked by there earlier today, unaware of who was inside, just out and about on my evening stroll. There is always a bit of a chill I get when walking by that place, though yesterday it felt more so, and it did put me into a gloomy mood, though I wasn’t sure why at the time. I didn’t know his body had been transferred there until I had put on the evening news. Perhaps it was just a coincidence, but thinking about it now, it seems that when a true star passes away, like James Dean, the Titanic, or the Beatles, it leaves a very definite void in its wake, a black hole if you will, which tends to pull everything around it in and upon itself.
This was a strange case. The pieces just didn’t add up. Why would a talent like Ledger, already huge with his Oscar win, now on the verge of breaking through into immortality with his seminal performance as the Joker in the upcoming Batman movie, do something so stupid and cliché ridden as off himself on what appears to be drugs, prescription or otherwise. And then there is the involvement with those Olsen twins, or one of them at least, I’m not sure which one, most probably the evil twin. And what about the unaccredited masseuse? Now, the reports say that the masseuse called Olsen on the phone before she dialed 911 when she discovered the lifeless body, only to be told by Olsen to not call the cops until her private security guards arrived on the scene first. The first thing that disturbs me is that a girl like Olsen actually has a small army of guards to dispatch at a moments notice, on either coast.
Now there’s a real head scratcher. I couldn’t make heads or tales about it. In a situation like this, there was only one recourse for action, and that was to turn to the net, see what the web had to say about it. Sure, I would have to wade through a lot of red herrings and paranoid fantasies, but at least it would get the ball rolling, see what’s percolating on the world brain. Maybe there were some details missed. Lets face it, the corporate media machine is less than perfect as to the details. Sure thing, they’ve got their hands full with the Britney Lohan issue, they’ve got their top people working on that case, and between that and the campaign, they’re stretched thin.
I Googled Heath Ledger death mystery and came up with 257,012 responses. Something in the top ten listings caught my eye. It was absurd, but it caught my eye because it was just that. The title read Tom Cruise Killed Heath Ledger. This was good for the chuckle at least, and lets face it, we all need a little levity. The basic thesis of the article was that Tom Cruise and his handlers needed some kind of distraction for the media to take their attention off the new biography on Cruise, which is an unflattering account of his bazaar behaviors and beliefs, etc. In addition, the article pointed out, Cruise’s wife, the indelible Mrs. Katie Holmes, was turned down for the lead femme fatale role in the upcoming summer blockbuster The Dark Knight, which stars Ledger as the Joker. Well, it is true that nobody has heard a word about the Cruise book since the Ledger tragedy.
This was turning into a can of worms. The more I looked inside it, the darker and squirmier things got. I was getting dizzy with the facts, the implications, the seemingly unconnected connections. I needed a breather, a chance to clear my head, get some objectivity on the case. I needed spiritual guidance. I had no choice, so I contacted my spiritual guru Sylvia Brown for advice. I just hoped she wasn’t too busy taping another appearance on the Montell Williams Show.
Sylvia and I go back a long ways and she helped me break a number of big stories, as well as helping me get in touch with my inner child. But that is another story. Luckily, I caught Sylvia at home as she was coming out of one of her trances.
“Sylvia,” I asked her “tell me what you know about this Heath Ledger case. Is foul play involved, or just bad judgment?”
“It’s true,” she said “Tom Cruise did kill Heath Ledger.
“But how could that be? There are eye witness accounts that place Tom with members of the Sea Org at a retreat in the Hollywood Hills at the time of Ledgers passing. You must be mistaken on this one Sylvia.”
“Not at all Andrew, you see there was a great battle which took place on the astral plane. These two have been going at it since Ledger put out The Order. That movie was more than just a fictional story, but rather a metaphor for what was going on in Ledgers life. Studying at the Temple of the Golden Dawn with the Crowley people, Ledger actually became the sin eater, as he depicted in the movie. That is equivalent to a Grand Wizard, or a 33rd degree Mason. With that under his belt, and then all the plum roles coming his way, he naturally aroused much envy in Hollywood. You know how bitchy that town can get.”
“And how.”
“Sure thing. Anyway, as I was saying, a great battle ensued on the astral plane. I know this because I’ve been in deep meditation and I remote viewed the entire thing. You see, Tom is what they call an Operating Thetan, which makes him a real big cheese in his circle, and as such he is in command of an army of Thetan underlings. He commanded them all to attack Ledger psychically but was thwarted when Ledger invoked the spirit of Aliester Crowley to repel their attacks. Now Tom, being Tom, wasn’t going to take this lying down so he in turn invoked the spirit of L. Ron Hubbard himself. Now these two disembodied spirits are going at it and let me tell you this was a terrible sight to behold. Storms and tidal waves and earthquakes and you name it.”
“Holy smokes, what happened then?”
“Well, the rest is history. Crowley was smited by Hubbard, and in turn Ledger’s soul sunk to the lowest levels of the emotional scale and is now dead at the age of 28. Real tragedy.”
All I could think of was Mission Impossible 4, and had to agree with her. About the tragedy part, that is.
“That’s quite a story you’re telling me Sylvia. Are you sure about the accuracy of your vision?”
“Hell yes Andrew, have I ever steered you wrong before?”
Well, about that, she was right. That lady has never steered me wrong. But this whole business of sin eating and thetans was just something I couldn’t quite wrap my head around. Besides, all this talk was getting me famished. I needed something to eat so my girlfriend and I decided to head down to Chinatown. While there we picked up some scallops and fresh octopus. On the walk home we passed by Ledgers house on Broome Street in Soho. There was still media in front- cameras, reporters, and the fans and mourners who left flowers and pictures of Heath on the sidewalk beside his place. I snapped a few photographs while a passerby told my girlfriend about the time he almost overdosed on cough syrup.
the end
